in·de·ci·sion noun \ˌin-di-ˈsi-zhən\ – a wavering between two or more possible courses of action

Indecision is killing me right now!!  I’m not sure why it is so hard for me to make a decision.  Actually I do know… fear of making the wrong decision is keeping me from making any choice at all.  Knowing this reason isn’t making it any easier though.  It’s so frustrating!!

If it were just me depending on me to make the right choice, I think I would be OK.  What puts the pressure on is knowing that my husband and two children also expect me to make the best decision.  If I screw it up, they suffer too.  My kids are old enough now to know what is going on and to remember the consequences, should there by any.  Add in the economic uncertainty in every aspect of all of our lives right now, and that pressure feels like it is about to boil over.

Should I submit my resume on that job?  Should I even be looking at a job change right now at all?  Should I make that purchase or leave the money in savings? Should we make those repairs to our house?  Should we still be looking to move? Question after question.

Deep down inside, I know that no matter what decisions I/We make… we will be OK.  We always are and we are usually stronger as well.  Sometimes it just takes longer to come to that realization.  🙂

In the meantime, I plan to research all of my options.  Talk about them with my husband and then make a choice and stick to it.  Should there be consequences down the road, we will face them together.

Do you have a hard time making choices?  How do you handle indecision?

We took the kids to play Putt Putt this weekend.  The hubby and I were sharing the score keeping duty.  At the 15th hole, I see him over at one of the stands that you can use to write on and I just assumed that he was working on our score card.  The next thing I know he said that I wouldn’t believe what someone had written on the stand.  I walked over to take a look and he had written “Hubby ♥’s Wifey” using our names of course.  This coming from a man who is not publically romantic at all. I told him how sweet that was and then he planted a kiss on me…. in front of other people.  WOW!!!

Even after 16 years together he still suprises me and he can still make me feel like he did in the very beginning.

 

It’s the first day of summer here. School is out and the kids are ready to enjoy their time off.  This song should be the anthem of summer!!  I love it.  I woke them up dancing to it this morning. They weren’t too happy about it either.  See, I am working today and woke them up at regular time.  They wanted to sleep in.  <insert evil mother laugh here> Bwahahaha!!!

 

 

I received this in an email yesterday evening for Mother’s Day.  I loved it so much and want to share it with you.  I am not sure who to credit for writing this but it is beautiful.

“Invisible Mother…..

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,  the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I’m invisible.. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more!
Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being.
I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’
I’m a TV guide to answer,  ‘What channel is MTV on?’
I’m a car to order, ‘Pick me up at 5:30.’Some days I’m a crystal ball; ‘Where’s my other sock?, Where’s my phone?, What’s for dinner?’I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature – but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe” .I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’In the days ahead I would read – no, devoured the book.

And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths,
after which I could pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it
And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you.
I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over.
You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.
As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.’
That would mean I’d built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home.
And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, ‘You’re gonna love it there…’
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,
but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know… I just did.”

Reese Witherspoon was in the news earlier this week for a comment she made during an interview about talking to her children about domestic abuse.  I applaud her for having this conversation because it is such an important one to share.

Growing up, domestic abuse was discussed in our house.  My mother made a mistake and married at 16.  At the time she thought it was the right thing to do and was a ticket out of her home.  Little did she know that the next 5 years of her life would be spent with an extremely abusive husband.  It wasn’t until she was sure that he would kill her that she left.  Thankfully she did not have children with this man and cutting ties was made a bit easier.

She told my brother and I about her situation as we grew up.  The older I got the more I could see how it altered her life forever and changed who she was at the core.  She told us that maybe she lived through it so that her children would know that you don’t have to put up with it and that you never treat another person that way.  It was important for her to know that her son would never lay a hand on his wife and her daughter would never allow it to happen.

I am so thankful for these talks.  I never dreamed that I would be put in the same situation.  When I was 18 and broke up with my boyfriend, he turned physical.  I knew right then that he could never be trusted again.  If he went there once, it would happen again.  I filed a police report, issued my statement and the prosecutors took care of the rest for me.  I later learned that he was sentenced to anger management classes and community service.  I have never spoken to him again, but hope that he learned something about himself.  I hope that it never happened to another women in his life.  I did what I could to prevent it from happening again.

Talk to your kids about social issues such as abuse.  Tell them that this behavior is not OK.  Tell them that is should never be tolerated.  Tell them to watch out for their friends and report suspected abuse.

If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, there is help available.  Visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) for help.