Kodaline – All I Want from TIDAL on Vimeo.

I am in love with the song and video today. So much so that it brings a tear to my eyes. I’ve felt lived his disappointment, his hurt and his joy in finding a real connection with someone.

For so many years I felt like I never fit in anywhere… most of my childhood in fact. We moved so much when I was a kid – for years we moved every summer – and I learned early on not to get attached to other kids. What was the point when I would just be moving again and lose them?

The scene played over and over. I was once again the new kid. Once again starting over. Once again trying to figure out where I fit in. It’s hard to find your place when many of the kids have been friends since they started school. It’s hard to compete with that history. Add in being terribly shy and unsure of yourself and you can see how it was just easier to stay on the outside. It felt safer to just watch from the sidelines. Feeling safe is often very lonely and we all reach a point where we need someone else. We can’t go through this life without each other.

I did make friends and I can look back on my school years with affection. I did more than just survive them. I also learned that people come and go almost like seasons. That’s not a bad thing necessarily. We take from them what we need at that time and in return give them something that they needed. We are all connected in this experience that is life. I have fond memories of many people who touched my life in a big way. I realize that they probably don’t remember it or me. I don’t expect them to. I was only in their life for a brief moment. But those brief moments mean the world to me.

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