Another birthday has come and gone for me. I’m now 37 years old. It feels very weird to say this. I remember my parents being this age. I’m not quite where I expected to be at 37. That’s not to say I’m not happy with my life because I am happy. My criticism with myself lies in the fact that I don’t have everything figured out (maybe I never will) and the changes I so desperately want to happen have not come as easily as I hoped. Quite often I feel as if I’m spinning in circles wasting precious energy fighting life.
When all of the usual methods I know have produced no results, I know I need to change my methods. So here I am.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the past few weeks. I evaluated my approach to situations and how I handle things and I realized something huge. I have stopped being proactive with life and have instead become reactive. Instead of actively pursuing what I want, I’ve been preoccupied with all of the to-do’s and issues and small emergencies that need my attention. I let these things consume me and all of the energy I have. I’ve taken a back seat to my own life.
This has to change.
I know that there will not be one easy fix to correct this. I know that I will have to make a conscious effort to get back in charge of leading my life. I know that I will have to prioritize and sometimes even put my needs in front of others that I care for. I also know that this will not be easy. It will be a process but I’m ready to get started and make some changes. I’m ready to feel like me again.